物事がうまくいかない日

時々物事が思うように進まなくて苛立つ日がある。

ちゃんとto-do リストを作って事前に準備を（ほぼ）完璧にしていたのに。

「よくやった自分、おつかれ！」と自己肯定感上昇中だったのに。

自分の力の及ばない、外的要因のために予定が崩れ、せっかく準備したことも急遽変更せざるを得なくなる。

そして、落ち着きを無くし、情報共有をまるで後出しジャンケンのようにしてきた後輩に対して苛立ちの矛先を向けてしまう。（しかもこの後輩よく情報の後出しをよくやるから余計に腹が立つ笑）

いけないと頭では理解しているんだけどね。

そもそも「外的要因」に対し「これまで○○だったから大丈夫」「間に合うはず」と信頼しすぎていたことが原因。

だから結局は自分の甘さに跳ね返る。

実は今日、もう一つ予定していたことが思う通りに進んでいない。これもまた「外的要因」だ。

首を長くして待っている書類が届かない。

大抵先方はその書類は「簡易書留」か「速達」で送ってくれる（中身が割に大事な書類だから）

なのに、昨日発送してくれたはずなのに翌日午後の今日になってもまだ届かない。

郵送事情のせいなのか、書留や速達ではなく普通郵便で送ったとか言わないだろうな、と不安がよぎる。

確認（＝催促）の電話をすべきか、今日はもう諦めるか...

予定では今朝届いて午後からその書類を持って次の行動に移るはずだったのに。

しかたない。

明日届くことを祈り、次の段階で便宜を図ってもらうことをお願いするしかない。

こういう日はほんとに心がささくれ立つ。

I honestly don't know why things sometimes just don't go as planned. 

I had everything all planned well in advance, crossing them off my to-do list the night before. 

Getting the final green light, it was supposed to proceed as planned without a hitch. 

I was supposed to feel elated by getting things done.  

BUT.

There are at least two things which haven't gone as I had anticipated, both of which are beyond my control. 

I feel the heat and quite frustrated, but I cannot do anything about them. 

As if to add salt to the injury, my colleague has just dropped a bomb which she should have shared with me sooner but kept to herself until minutes ago. 
Had she shared that piece of information, I would have, and could have changed my tac. 

Consequently, I couldn't help but take my pent-up frustration and irritation out on her, which I know all too well that's not an ideal attitude as her senior. 

In fact, the fault lies with me. 

I shouldn't have based my move on my assumption to begin with. 

I shouldn't have so relied on my past experiences and assumed it should be OK. 

You cannot control nor change how others proceed or do their tasks. 

Dah. 

To tell the truth, I've still been waiting for a document since the day before which is crucial to my next move. 

I expected to receive it this morning but it's already half past three p.m. and there's hardly any sign of it arriving any time soon. 

They usually send us that type of documents by express and the person in charge said she would send it the next day, which, for us, yesterday. 

I wonder what is going on. 

Has there been a massive delay or something in the postal service due to the increased volume of snail mails towards the end of the year, or don't tell me she posted it as a regular mail! 

Again, there's nothing I can do. It was my fault to be too reliant on exterior factors. 
I should have been smarter. I could have done better. 

That said though, I will definitely inquire what posting method she used to mail the document. 

It needs to arrive tomorrow morning at the VERY latest. 

Will keep my fingers crossed.